Begone Pheasant: A Slice from my Crazy Life

8:00 AM

*Readers see Catherine messing around with her feed board again*
*Readers look away, groaning that it's going to be another goals post* 
*Reader: "Seriously, why can't she think of something else to write?"
*Another reader: "Did you look at the board?" 
*First reader shakes his head and actually looks"

Yes, yes, my long suffering readers. The goals have now been laid to sleep for a while. Since the topics have been rather serious of late, a few laughs ought to brighten things up here, no?

So, this post was written AGES ago, but never published for some odd and obscure reason. The poor thing remained so hidden for several months, gathering dust in the draft pile.

Then Catherine, in a spring cleaning rampage at the end of Camp, picked it up by her fingertips to examine it. Despite a few moldy spots, it was quite a serviceable post, and so it was sent to the laundry to be dealt with.

Now with it's new format, it shall go off to the world.

Readers, behold the first ever life-y snippet post ever undertaken by Catherine Hawthorn. Though I should forewarn you, there are tall tales mixed beware!

*draws back the curtain*


Real incident:

Lots of crash bang booming.
Mom: "Are you okay???"
Catherine: "Yeah, the black hole was trying to kill me again."
Mom: *Laughter and shaking of the head*
Catherine: "What???? I can't help it if my room had a personal vendetta against me!!!"

(Obviously, this was from before I cleaned it out)

A story based on real life:

Sister's hand falls asleep
Brother bumps it/crashes something on it
Brother can't understand why sister is yelling/crying/laughing
Sister: "You don't understand. My hand was asleep and it was just very rudely awakened!"


Real Incident:

Younger brothers are kidding around with Catherine on behavior when the "suitors" start coming. They were weighing the various options and opinions as to what the "best" course of brother behavior

Matthew (oldest of the bunch): "Well, now I can't I be really weird or really normal?"
Anthony (youngest of the bunch): "I've got an idea...why don't we be half weird and half normal?"
Robert (one of the middle ones): "We ARE half weird, half normal!!"

 A True Statement:

The best entertainment in the world is getting a brother to break character (especially when it doesn't take much to do it).


Real Incident:

Getting ready for a trip
Mom: I only need 3 cases of Vitamin energy drinks to go with us, so you can take that fourth case out of there.
Catherine: *removes one case from cardboard box*
Catherine: Hey! I can fit the laundry detergent in here! *shoves box from a squat position* Perfect-ooff!
Mom: As the twenty-odd year old sprawls all over the floor.
Catherine: Well, it's kinda heavy, Mom......


A story based off of real life:

A senior couple goes to the grocery store. Wife has her hands full keeping her husband from wandering off with a cart full of cookies, pies, donuts, etc. Bonus points if grandkids are along.


Real Incident:

Teenage brothers playing King of the Mountain...on a moving ottoman. Nothing dangerous in that at all.

Robert: "Begone pheasant!"
Family: .....
Robert: "Peasant. I meant peasant."

(Note: No pheasants or peasants were harmed in this incident. A few sides may have sustained injury from laughter, however....)


Sooooo, what did you think? Funny? Not funny? please say funny Have you or any of your siblings gotten into these kinds of scrapes? Are these snippets worthy of inclusion in a novel somewhere? Any survival tips for dealing with crazy family members? Chat with me in the comments! 

Scribblingly yours,


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  1. Haha, your brothers remind me of my own ;D fun post ;)

  2. I love this xD Your brothers sound great. Especially "begone, pheasant." That sounds like an actual quote from me...

  3. This is great, Catherine! XD Gotta love siblings . . . they definitely make our lives more interesting. ;)

  4. "Begone pheasant" totally sounds like something I would say. Haha! This post was hilarious, Catherine!

  5. Haha, I loved this! XD Siblings are the ultimate comic relief.

  6. "Begone, Pheasant"


    Catherine I wanna visit you :D

  7. These are brilliant! Family life is the best!

  8. Haha, this made me laugh so hard - why do people hate having big families again...?

  9. This is so great!! Definitely novel-worthy. Also, "begone, pheasant" is toootaally something I would say. :)

  10. These are so cute and funny. XD You should definitely use some of the things your siblings said in your stories.


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