Greetings, my dear friends! 

It has been entirely too long since I have been here on the blog. I'm afraid that my personal life has taken quite a rollercoaster recently. I have been doing much better with my email newsletter, so I encourage you all if you haven't subscribed to that yet, be sure to click the landing page in the sidebar!

Especially since there are some crazzzzzy things happening around here. And for once, the rebellious muse isn't to blame. 

As some of you may know, I had an entire storyworld completely disappear back in December. Frustrating, yes, but not entirely inexplainable. I don't think the Shaxpir backups were as thorough as I had hoped. There also could be a written record somewhere, I just haven't found it yet. 

Now, recently, I began working again on the third draft to Fair Winds. Because as we all know, every time I go to the beach, I work on this story. It's a tradition at this point. 

As I open up the document, I remembered I was just before Chapter 5, which is a funeral scene. Not exactly the most cheerful place to begin drafting again. I thought, oh, well, maybe I'll skip that part. 

Except when I got to the end of the draft, I noticed that half of Chapter 4 was missing. Hmm, maybe I remembered wrong, I said to myself. Anyway, it was a better place than the funeral. 

So, I redraft the missing half of Chapter 4 without any issues. In the meantime, I go and save a version to Google Drive (this is to prevent total loss in case my laptop fries). 

I draft a little further along, and I go to update the Google version....only to find a completely different version of Chapter 4 staring at me in the face. 

After a moment of panic, I recognized it as the old version - the one I had stopped on the last time I had worked on this novel....the one I thought had disappeared. 

For several days, I couldn't figure out why this had happened. Had there been a glitch on my computer? 

Then, as I'm typing this all up here, I remembered that I had my thumb drive with me on the trip. Which also has a backup of Fair Winds on it. So I must have uploaded the copy from the thumb drive rather than the laptop. Which makes me wonder just how good my backup game really is....

Weird techy things aside, I thought it would be super fun to see the differences between the two scenes and figure out which is the better one. The first few paragraphs and the last lines are the same for both versions, (which evidently, is why I almost missed the alternative version). 

We'll start with the old one first. 

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The Older Version: 

 A strong evening breeze came off from the sea, ruffling his dark locks as he stood on the dock.

Lieutenant Colin Raeburn waited patiently as the packet ship Swallow lowered her anchor. While it contained many useful and needed supplies, this was not the reason why Colin’s hopes were rising. On that ship could be a letter from either his mother or sister. It had been a long four months since he had heard from them last and he was anxious as to how Sarah was faring. The last letter had hinted at her suffering consumption, which worried him tremendously.

The ropes were cast down at last, and soon the crew were working to raise the sails and lower the gangplanks to the harbor.

After allowing some of the hands to disembark, Colin placed his foot on the gangplank to ascend. But as he looked up, he saw with astonishment that a familiar smartly-dressed Navy midshipman stood at the top of the gangplank.

“Andrew Ware!”

The red head above was thrown back in a laugh as the strapping man hailed his companion-at-arms. Soon, the two were shaking hands on the dock.

“So, you’ve finally joined us, eh?”

“Aye, Captain Dryden thought I’d be better at catching smugglers and pirates than mouldering below decks.” Andrew smiled. “It’s good to see you again, mate.”

Colin chuckled. “Best not let the captain hear you call me that.” He opened his blue coat to reveal a fine white waistcoat and white breeches.

Andrew whistled. “You’re an officer now?”

“Aye. Captain Livingston recommended me for a commission after some action here a year ago.”

“Action...sir?”

“Oh, it was nothing serious. Just a band of Spanish smugglers breaking into a complex of warehouses.” Colin made a brushing motion with his hand. “How are things in Plymouth?”

“I don’t know. My ship, Vesper, was stuck in Portsmouth getting repairs for months. I left directly from there upon receiving my orders.”

“Oh.” Colin quickly smothered his disappointment.

“Say, mind showing a mate who just arrived from sea where the nearest tavern is? This sea air makes a fellow awfully parched.”

“Shouldn’t you report to your commanding officer first?”

Andrew brushed him off. “The sky grows dark, and the man doesn’t need to be bothered until the morning. Besides, I am in desperate need of an ale.”

Among other things, Colin mentally added on. “Well then I shall go with you and lament the seeming loss of my mother’s letter.”

Andrew jumped and reached for his coat pocket. “Letter! I’m carrying one, actually, Nearly forgot about it. Except it’s for Captain Livingston, not you. Will we find him at the pub?” 

“No, but his home is on the way. That is the only place he is besides the pier these days. His wife has taken ill with fever and he is loath to leave her side.”

“Unusual devotion, I must say.” 

Colin chuckled. “They share an intimacy not found among many couples.” 

The two men walked along the streets of Port Royal towards a row of housing just inland. Along the way, Andrew’s eyes wandered over the obnoxiously bright displays of the traders and the tanned beauties that passed their way. Colin kept his eyes straight towards his destination. 

Soon, they reached a simple house in the middle of the row. Colin knocked on the door and soon both were ushered into Captain Livingston’s study. 

 “So, you have a letter for me, eh?” The middle-aged man reached for a pair of spectacles on his desk. 

With an affirmative, Andrew handed the letter off to him. “Captain Dryden sends his compliments, sir. He has spoken very often of you in the highest regard.” 

“No doubt. Although I expected less accolades and more men in answer to my request.” Captain Livingston broke open the seal and began to read to himself. “He does speak quite highly of you in his letter of introduction though, Mr. Ware. Says you’re worth ten able seamen. I suppose this is his way of apologizing for his own failure.” 

Andrew gave a wry smile. 

“Captain Dryden further states that I am to be of service to you in finding a position here.” Captain Livingston put the letter down and removed his spectacles. “As it so happens, I am in need of a midshipman on my own vessel. Report to me at the pier in the morning.” 

“Aye sir.” Andrew saluted. 

“Oh, and here.” Captain Livingston reached into his pocket and flipped Andrew a gold sovereign. “Consider this an advance on your wages and get yourself a good meal before you settle in the barracks tonight.” 

Andrew grinned. “Thank you, sir. I’m much obliged to you.”

The two men shook hands cordially, and Andrew excused himself to go to the pub. After promising to join him later, Colin sat down in one of the chairs near the window. 

“He’s a good lad that.” Captain Livingston said offhandedly as he picked up his spectacles again. 

“Aye, sir. He and I were old school fellows. I only hope that he stays out of the back alleys.”

“He certainly wouldn’t be the first “good” lad to be tempted by promises of riches or by women for that matter. But, you know that is difficult to avoid while on shore. Especially in this city. Gambling and prostitution are rife on every corner and alley. And precious little we can do to stop such behavior.”  

Colin nodded his agreement as Captain Livingston picked up another folded sheet. “Shall I leave you, sir? To view your letter?” 

There was a pause before the captain answered. “No, stay for a moment, Colin.” His eyebrows furrowed together as he unfolded it. 

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Looking back on this old version, I have a few thoughts. I really like Captain Dryden's name. The prose is concise. I feel that the pacing is a little fast, and not very engaging. Neither do I feel that you get a good impression of any of the characters.

In addition, although you wouldn't know this from reading just this snippet, there is actually a plot hole here. For the sake of spoilers, I won't reveal exactly where it is, but just know that it's there.

And now, onto the new version!

Please note: There is one italicized section that indicates that I'm missing something from the draft. Please ignore that.

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The Newer Version:

 A strong evening breeze came off from the sea, ruffling his dark locks as he stood on the dock.

Lieutenant Colin Raeburn waited patiently as the packet ship Swallow lowered her anchor. While it contained many useful and needed supplies, this was not the reason why Colin was happy to see it. On that ship could be a letter from either his mother or sister. It had been a long four months since he had heard from them last and he was anxious as to how Sarah was faring. The last letter had hinted at her suffering consumption, which worried him tremendously.

The ropes were cast down at last, and soon the crew were working to raise the sails and lower the gangplanks to the harbor.

After allowing some of the hands to disembark, Colin placed his foot on the gangplank to ascend. But as he looked up, he saw with astonishment that a smartly-dressed Navy midshipman stood at the top of the gangplank.

“Andrew Ware!”

The red head above was thrown back in a laugh as the strapping man hailed his companion-at-arms. Soon, the two were shaking hands on the dock.

“So, you’ve finally joined us, eh?”

“Aye, Captain Boyce thought I’d be better at catching smugglers and pirates than mouldering below decks.” Andrew smiled. “It’s good to see you again, mate.”

Colin chuckled. “Best not let the captain hear you call me that.” He opened his blue coat to reveal a fine white waistcoat and white breeches.

Andrew whistled. “You’re an officer now?”

“Aye. Captain Livingston recommended me for a commission after some action here a year ago.”

“Action...sir?”

“Oh, it was nothing serious. Just a rogue band of Spanish smugglers who threatened the governor.” Colin made a brushing motion with his hand. “How are things in Plymouth?”

“I don’t know. My ship, Vesper, was stuck in Portsmouth getting repairs for months. I left directly from there.”

“Oh.” Colin quickly smothered his disappointment.

“Say, mind showing a mate just arrived from sea where the nearest tavern is? This sea air makes a fellow awfully parched.”

“Shouldn’t you report to your commanding officer first?”

Andrew brushed him off. “The sky grows dark with night, and the man doesn’t need to be bothered until the morning. Besides, I am in desperate need of an ale.”

Among other things, Colin mentally added on. “Well then, I shall go with you and lament the seeming loss of my mother’s letter.”

At the word “letter,” Andrew jumped and reached for his coat pocket. “Letter! I’m carrying one, actually. I almost forgot about it. Except it’s for Captain Livingston, not you. I’m sorry.”

“How did you end up with a letter for Captain Livingston?”

“My sainted aunt, Mrs. Ann Goodhew, sent it from Brixham with a letter from herself. Fortunately, it found me in Portsmouth the day I was supposed to set sail. Any idea where I could find him?”

Colin smiled. “Come this way, I’ll lead you to his home. That’s the most likely place to find him when he’s not at the pier. His wife has been ill with fever for several days and he is loath to leave her side.”

Andrew made known his astonishment. “Unusual devotion, I must say.”

Colin chuckled. “They share an intimacy not found among many couples.”

They walked along the streets of Port Royal towards a row of housing just inland. Along the way, Andrew’s eyes wantered over the obnoxiously bright displays and the tanned native beauties that passed their way. Colin kept his eyes straight towards his destination.

Soon, they reached a simple house in the center of Officer’s Row. Colin reached up and knocked on the pewter knocker. Soon, a colored manservant answered the door.

“Good afternoon, Saul. Is Captain Livingston available for visitors?”

“Yes, suh, Lieutenant Raeburn. Come in, I’ll tell him you are here.” Saul smiled as the two young men entered the foyer.

(comment by Andrew about something, reply by colin)

“Colin!” A booming voice came from the doorway.

The two young men turned and saw a large man in a smart blue coat and white breeches before them. His hair was powdered white and swept into a neat queue. His dark blue eyes held a genial expression as he raised his hand to Colin to shake.

“Pleasure to see you, sir. Allow me to introduce Midshipman Andrew Ware. He just arrived on the Swallow this afternoon.”

The two of them shook hands cordially and Captain Livingston invited them into his study.

“So, Mister Ware. You’ve been sent from England?” Livinston opened a decanter of brandy and began filling two glasses.

“Aye sir. I have a letter of introduction from Captain Boyce. I was to report to a ship called Mermaid’s Tear?” Andrew reached for one of the glasses that the Captain had just filled.

“Ahh yes, that would be Admiral Norwood’s vessel. He just lost a midshipman recently. Died of syphilis, the poor man.” The captain corked the decantor and took a swig of his syllabub.

“’Scuse me, suh. Admiral Norwood is here to see you.” Saul stood respectfully at the door.

“Well, isn’t that timing! Show him in, Saul.”

Saul nodded, and soon a wiry, weather-beaten man was shown into the study. He wasted no time with formalities. “Captain, I have news. Two Spanish ships have been spotted west-southwest of here. I need two more ships ready to weigh anchor before the end of the day.”

“Don’t worry, Admiral. The Vigilant and the Triumph are on standby. And what’s more, a midshipman has just arrived from England that’s to report to you. Mister Andrew Ware, late of Captain Boyce’s command.” Livingston indicated Andrew, who had risen upon the mention.

The admiral looked over Andrew carefully. “Mmmm. I would have appreciated it if you had reported to my barracks before you engaged in any social visits, Mister Ware.”

“Forgive me, Admiral. But I had a commission by my aunt to deliver a letter to Captain Livingston.” As he said this, he reached into his coat to retrieve the letter and gave it to the captain, who received it with surprise. “And now that it is finished, I am at your disposal.”

“Excellent. Let us be off then. Good day, Captain.” And with that, the admiral stalked off towards the door.

“Well, I am sorry to leave you all so soon, but duty has called.” Andrew shook hands with Captain Livingston first and then Colin. “It was good to see you, Colin...sir.”

“You too, Andrew. When you get back, I’ll treat you to a pint at the tavern.”

“Thank you. I’m much obliged.” And with that, Andrew left the house in trail of Admiral Norwood.

“He’s a good lad, that.” Captain Livingston took another sip of his syllabub.

“Aye, sir. I’ve known him since we were lads. I just hope that he stays out of the back alleys, if you know what I mean.”

“Well, you know that’s difficult to avoid on shore. Especially in this city where prostitution and gambling are rife. There is little we can do to stop such activities.”

Colin nodded his agreement as Livingston picked up the letter from the desk. “Shall I leave you, sir? To view your letter?”

There was a pause before Livingston answered. “No, stay for a moment, Colin.” His grey eyebrows furrowed as he broke the seal.

 

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Well, this is certainly different from the last version!

I feel it's a lot more authentic to the 1740s time period it's supposed to be. There is also much more description incorporated into the prose, which makes it more engaging to me. I don't know how I feel about the name being changed from Dryden to Boyce. The original name from Draft 2 was Byden, which I was not comfortable using for obvious reasons. Not remembering that I had changed it to Dryden before, I went for a name that still seemed nautical but not linguistically close to the original. The snippet is also longer, which may affect the pacing.

As for which one I like better....I can't really decide!

So, I want to hear from you guys! Which version do you like better and why? Don't be afraid to shred it in the comments, lol

With love,

Catherine